road tolkien

Where is home?

Had an odd realization last night: I don't exactly have a place that feels like "home" at the moment.

I rent part of a house and I've been here in this house for a year now, but it doesn't fully have that feeling of "this is my space, this is my home." Maybe part of that is 'cause I rent and I can't do anything about all the terrible wood paneling and drop ceilings. I'm sure a large part of it is that I just went through a big roommate shuffle - everybody from last year moved out (yay!), my friend Alex moved in (yay!) and two people I found on the internet moved in (yay?). Time will tell how well we all get along, but it seems to have a good start so far and I don't want to give anyone the evil eye yet. Everybody else seems to be more of a talker than me though... I may have to get used to holing up in my room more often instead of setting up in the dining room.

My hometown of St Albans hasn't felt like home for a few years now. I've outgrown it and there's very little there I care about anymore besides my parents. Even their house feels stifling now that I've grown up.

I do feel at home in Pittsburgh's East side - Squirrel Hill, Shadyside, sometimes Oakland. t's some comfort that even if a specific room or house or apartment feels only like where I sleep and keep my stuff, the neighborhood as a whole feels like a place I can belong.
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    sad sad
no power in the verse

small rant

Sometimes I just feel like shouting at life/other people:

I am one tiny woman-creature! Stop leaving all these little messes for me to clean up! And dammit, give me some help with the heavy lifting!
  • Current Music
River doorway


Visiting my parents in Saint Albans, WV for the weekend. Alternating between awesome family hangout time and ARGH ARGH BORED.

Somehow I feel that last sentence conveys a lot of the experience of being a young adult in WV, particularly for those living outside of the urban-ish Kanawha Valley.
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    bored bored
Trek Picard

(no subject)

An old frenemy from my childhood PMed me on facebook... so I'm avoiding that site like a mature adult right now XD. What, me running and hiding? You don't say...

I did accept her friend request months ago (mainly just to get info on her and another old friend), and she does seem to have changed overall for the better... but my reactions are the same. Perfectly ok to view from a distance, but bitch don't talk to me anymore!

The written word falls flat here, we need an irony font as well as one for sarcasm.
road tolkien

musings while I should be packing

I have a love-hate relationship with summer. Since high school I've found it too hot, sticky, and itchy, though since I moved out of St. Albans it's less boring.
So it's not my favorite season, but I still like many things about it - fireflies, blackberries, fresh peaches, thunderstorms, long days and cool clear nights.
Also the great American ritual of summer roadtrips! Tomorrow I head down to Charleston to visit my parents, get a new cell phone (so I can have a battery life of more than 2 days and an actual type-y keypad) and see FestivALL! I am excited for the artwalk tomorrow night. Then on Sunday I'm taking my mom out to Richmond to scope out Virginia Commonwealth University and their graduate program in Visual Communications.

I don't feel like detailing everything right now, but my life is feeling rather unsettled right now. I have a halfway steady job at the art store again, I'm planning to move in Aug/September for cheaper accommodations closer to my friends in town, and I'm considering schools for graphic design-ish degrees. I have good reason to feel massive stress and yet, I'm pretty cool right now. Even if I don't have answers or solid plans yet I feel like I can work things out, and I'm still on more solid ground than some folks I know.

Also I got a summer boyfriend two weeks ago, and that's done wonders for my overall level of happy :)
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    busy busy